The following is a true accounting of a narrowly averted crisis. :)
So there I was last night, watching this pregnant woman who just wanted to dance with her husband. First this witch steps in and steals her man, then this other horrible woman drugs her! She stood in front of me, swaying and stumbling until she fell, right back into my arms! I gently lowered her to the floor.
And that’s when all hell broke loose for about 60 seconds. Apparently no one but me noticed.
First of all, it was Isadora Wolfe, so, hair. SO. MUCH. HAIR. :) The clasp of my bracelet got tangled in her hair as I lowered her to the ground. A slight-but-manageable panic set in.
Internal monologue: “I can get that out, I can feel that it’s not too bad. As soon as I lower her head I’ll use my left hand to separate the hair and we’re OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?” PANIC.
The THAT to which I refer was the fact that I caught, out of the corner of my eye, my thistle pocket watch falling out of my pocket and heading directly for her face. And her eyes were closed. PANIC.
With cat-like agility, I slapped the pocket watch as it fell with the back of my left hand. it hit the floor right next to her head, and the bow broke off. PANIC.
So now there’s a swinging chain hanging off my vest, maybe an inch from her eye. My watch is on the floor next to her head and my bracelet is still caught in her hair. PANIC.
I scooped the watch, then shoved it and the chain in my pocket. I slipped my left hand into her hair, freed my right wrist and slid it out from under her head just as Danvers came to wake her. PHEW. PANIC OVER, YOU SMOOTH BASTARD. NICE ONE, ALMOST GAVE HER A BLACK EYE AND RIPPED OUT A CHUNK OF HER HAIR. YOU DA MAN, DAWG.
Longest minute I have ever spent in the McKittrick.
We went stumbling up the stairs together, and she seemed to recognize me. We prayed, I was salted, that all went super smoothly, Mainly because I tried not to move or blink or screw it up by, I don’t know, tripping and crushing her to death or accidentally setting the apartment on fire or whatever stupid slapstick thing was threatening to happen next.
Later in the bar I asked Isadora and she said she didn’t have any idea it’d happened. She also mentioned that stuff gets stuck in her hair all the damn time. :)
Needless to say, Isadora was brilliant and beautiful and she’s the best.
P.S. Got the watch fixed today for five bucks. Old school watch repair guy with a huge box of spare parts for the win.